"Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, I think about our dead friend almost the entire time"
"I decided to stop being a f**kboy and be a nice guy"
"I can never replace her dad, but I will always love her like my own daughter."
"He threw my pancakes on the ground because there was no syrup"
"Co-parenting is the most difficult thing I've had to learn to do."
"I cried instead of sleeping."
"I used to think of Rihanna during sex with my ex boyfriend. It always helped me climax."
Yep. My Dad actually told me "Don't make me adopt my own grandson." He's an asshole. Maybe you should have had more than one kid then, dad.
"She wanted me to dye my hair so she'd be the only blonde in the wedding."
"We've been together 4 years. He still doesn't know."