"I don't watch local news anymore. It's too many stories of rape and assault"
My mother-in-law said “suck it in” when we took our first picture after marriage!
"Just because you hate your ex doesn't mean I have to hate mine."
I couldn't figure out why my dog kept licking my stomach, and why he insisted to sleep curled against me instead of at my feet like normal...turns out he knew I was pregnant before I did.
"7 months pregnant and all i've craved is eggnog. AND THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING EGGNOG."
"I leaked my own nudes for attention a few months ago. It worked."
"Time has flown by, and now I'm feeling like what's the point?"
"I wish my step dad would leave and never come back."
"My Dad bought my Mom a good piano instead of an engagement ring!"
Not always pleasant