"I put my penis in a peanut butter sandwich"
"I'm scared that I think I'll do it wrong."
"I will never commit to another woman again."
"I was bullied for being ugly. I'm a model now"
"Who the frick needs $1200 salt & pepper shakers?"
Ouch
Allergies aren't anything to scoff at.
"Intense doesn't even begin to describe it"
Don't let the membership get to your head.
"I couldn't imagine myself as a mom, but I could imagine myself as a dad"