"My boss has a terrible body odor and her breath stinks too. It smells like something is rotten, maybe it's her soul."
"I had a gay affair with my best friend, more than once whilst my girlfriend and his was down stairs...."
"To be fair, I do spoil him with a lot of my earnings..."
"Why does he make me feel worse about my insecurities?"
"My husband's step mom had the balls to ask us to invite his ex wife to the wedding."
"The truth is, I only talk to her because I want to date her best friend"
"The bride fell off of the balcony into the swimming pool..."
"When we were about to have sex I discovered she was a he..."
"I hate my son more than anything"
"I broke their sink when I was having a quickie with their daughter"