"I had no where to clean my fingers so I licked them clean."
"Spontaneous lesbian make-out at the gym today was pretty awesome. But holy hell was it sweaty."
"Perfect timing because I know my wife has been suspicious"
"Life is too short to be miserable."
"I got the answers I was looking for, but now I don't know how to tell him I'm not pregnant..."
"I still miss what we almost had"
"People think I'm from Ireland but I'm not"
"I think I need a new job"
"Everytime I find him he's married, a thousand miles away, or has commitment issues."
"I'm in the I disowned my mom and dad cause they're abusive club."