13

Don't have sex after chopping jalapeños

From:
Fontana, California, US

14

Dad: "I will accept you for what ever your sexuality is."
*1 month later*
Me: "Dad, I'm bisexual."
Dad: "No you're not. You're not going to be any type of sexual until I'm dead."

From:
Baltimore, Maryland, US

15

"If you can't blind them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit."

From:
Kendallville, Indiana, US

16

Only chickens accomplish something by sitting on their asses

From:
Cumhuriyet, Merkez, Samsun, TR

17

"If any man tries to hurt you, tell them I have a gun, a shovel, and an alibi"

From:
Lansing, Illinois, US

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